Pie #9: EARL MURDERS ME BECAUSE I’M HAVING AN AFFAIR PIE

“You smash blackberries and raspberries into a chocolate crust.”

I've never had an affair, nor have I ever been cheated on. I'm pretty sure "affair" is a marital-specific term, and that to have an "affair", you need to "put a ring on it." In the movie, Keri Russell's character Jenna Hunterson has an extra-marital affair with the ever-charming Dr. Pomatter, played by Nathan Fillion. While it's hard to condone cheating, considering the difficulties of Jenna's relationship with her abusive husband, her affair is understandable (who would be able to resist that handsome devil, Nathan Fillion?).

What happened to this adaptation of "Earl Murders Me Because I'm Having an Affair" pie is certainly less understandable, but perhaps better-suited for an affair pie. The tart crusts burnt (why is there only a 30-second window for chocolate crust to turn from undercooked to burnt!?) the ganache wouldn't set, the cream was over-whipped, the chocolate was shaved before it had set properly, and as you can see, there are no blackberries.

Still, I make no apologies. The affair tart was a little bitter, provided a sugar rush, and was perfectly satisfying -- all components of a good affair, right? The main reason this tart failed was because instead of making it out of spite, anger, etc., I made it with my loving boyfriend, and it was just perfect for an after dinner dessert.

Recipe for Earl Murders Me Because I'm Having an Affair Tartlets
(makes 6, or 1 large tart)

For the crust: adapted from Julia Child

• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, preferably dutch-processed
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
• 1 large egg yolk (save white for meringue, or something else)
  
• 1 tablespoon ice water

For the filling:

• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
  
• 10 oz chocolate (bittersweet, best available) + more for chocolate shavings
  
• 1 carton raspberries
• 1 carton blackberries
  

For the whipped cream:

• 1/2 cup heavy cream
  
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 and 1/2 tsp confectioners sugar
  

1. Sift dry ingredients. Mash in butter (a food processor here would be good so the butter doesn't melt from body heat) -- do NOT overwork.
2. Add in egg yolk and ice water slowly, until it is crumbly but sticks together.
3. Press dough into tartlet pans (do NOT use the cheapo aluminum pans from your neighborhood grocery... this contributed to the burning) and chill for 30 minutes in refrigerator. Preheat oven to 350.
   
4. Bake the individual crusts for 10 minutes -- KEEP AN EYE on them. Both, if you aren't a cyclops.
5. Let the crusts cool, and either mash the raspberries and blackberries inside, or prepare ganache.
6. Chop chocolate into small pieces with a sharp knife. Bring heavy cream to a boil and pour over the chocolate.
7. Poor the ganache into the tartlets, and let set.
   
8. Meanwhile, pour heavy cream, and vanilla into a large bowl and beat with electric beater. Slowly add in confectioner's sugar. Do NOT overbeat.
9. Once the ganache has cooled, add whipped cream.
10. Decorate with chocolate shavings or whole raspberries, if desired.